WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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