New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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