he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
