He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
