So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
