Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want to have your abortion
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
