I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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