When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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