It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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