you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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