garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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