I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
