what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
