grandma shit on top of the toilet
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
