you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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