shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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