So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
