HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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