I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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