How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
