So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
