i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
