i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
