yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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