So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
