If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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