i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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