I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize