i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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