I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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