I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
