I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
