I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
