I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
