I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
