Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Randomize
