She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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