i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
