He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
