remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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