Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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