I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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