My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dicks are not precious.
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