Someone shit on the floor
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
