david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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