Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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