His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she looked like the before picture.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
