Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
