Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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