If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
