Betty ford says i'm here all night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
