Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
