And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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