So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
